Get rediagnosed

I've been mentally ill since forever I guess. I was first diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 12 and got diagnosed with bipolar disorder type II 7 years later. I kinda always knew I was weird. I'm 26 now and not long from now I realized how big of a weirdo I'm. It just feels like all the social cues are lost on me. It's just harder to act normal when you lost the norm. Include some symptoms that people suffering from BAD don't have mostly and the fact that I probably had like 1 or 2 periods that could be described as hypomania (long lasting) and you'll get why I doubt my bad diagnosis is accurate.

To get some weight off my shoulders I'll share that some part of me hates the fact that I'm chronically mentally ill and that's a spiril. You'll never find end cause that's in your core. That's you.. Me. Unfortunately. As I got closer to the age of thinking about marriage and having kids, it's harder to think that it's 50/50 that my kids will end up bipolar, too. It's the wound that always feels fresh. Life is a miracle. Especially when you end up alive after being an unmedicated teen for too long. But duh..
Sometimes I still hope that I'm magically okay and my optimistic self stays for longer than half a year at best.

That's some of the reasons why I chose to see some therapists and get rediagnosed next year. Hell of an expensive journey will it be. Feels necessary though